Swagger Wagon

I want this to be me in 5-7 years. But, with more hair.

Thanks to Sean & Matt for this one.


Conflict of Interest

Won’t You Take Me To…FUNKYTOWN?!?!

“My Texas weenie is SO stout right now.”

This Friday, September 30, I will return to the DFW Metroplex for two reasons. The first, of course, is to participate in the marriage of good friends David Beezy, and the future Mrs. Beezy, Natalie Martin. You’re welcome, and I’m really proud of the both of you. I envy you and your relationshiptual stability more than you know. The wedding is Sundey, and will be a blast, but…


I fly in from PHX Friday evening, and land at DFW at 5:05 PM, at which time I’ll take the trolley south to the Rental Car complex, where I’ll be picked up by one Nevin Nichols. Then, we will go directly to downtown Fort Worth to check into my hotel rooms. RoomS. Then, once checked in and whore-bathed, Nevin and I will head to the Fort Worth Music Festival, where we will join Garrett M., Nick Fox, Mark Hump, Justin & Syd Golson, Matty Glenn, and other in watching the greatest band ever:


Lucero goes on at 8:30, and we will have tons of fun. Then, after the show, we will go downtown in Fort Worth, where we will drink and be merry and be a family, and then after the One-Girl-Party that is Brianna Baine joins us, we will likely get rowdy and yell a lot and talk about how much we’ve missed each other. And then, after all is said and done, we’ll head to the hotel roomS that I’ve got booked downtown, and crash.

Sounds like a damn fun night to me.

Lucero – All Sewn Up

The Coca-Cola Ads are Unrealistic

This is more accurate.

Artistic Liberty

This morning, I received a frantic phone call from my brother.

“Hey…I’m at work right now, and I’m gonna have to go out in the field later, and I don’t know when I’ll be done…and this problem with that is…I have a Fantasy Draft tonight. Would you be willing to do it for me?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah I’d love to pick football players for you. This is like Christmas.”

I logged into ESPN with Clay’s information, and discovered that his team was nameless. Some of the other teams have pretty solid names, like “I’m Only Kaeding,” “My Vick in a Box,” and the “Berlin Basterds,” so I thought I’d come up with something good for him. Here’s what I came up with:

I like it. Thoughts?

Clay Matthews Commercial (No, Not THAT One)

Clay Matthews, Green Bay Packers Linebacker and old friend of the site, has a new commercial out. Although this one has nothing to do with childhood diseases, he DOES blow some shit up.


So, so funny. I love how he starts running at the mom while still talking. THIS is the EXACT mentality that I imagined him with when I made my original Clay Matthews commercial. He care about one thing, and one thing only: blowin’ shit up.

And try as they might, no offense is going to fool him. Why, because he just assumes that EVERYTHING is an offense.

Classic commercial.

This Blog is now…