The 2011 Christmas List! (Part One)

December is upon us, friends! And you know what that means!!!

Unabashed materialism and gift-giving! America!

I’ve already got the gift for my Mah, Brah, and a few choice others picked out, but i’m sure they’re having a hard time figuring out what to buy me.

Let me make it easy for you.

Without further ado, The 2011 Christmas List!!!

1. The Nokona WF-1200C 12 Inch Walnut Softball Glove

The 12-inch. Not the Buckaroo. Not the Kangaroo. The Walnut. From Nokona. What’s more American than that?

2. The Toshiba Canvio 3.0 500GB External Hard Drive

Because 8MB images from the Nikon are rapidly eating my MacBook’s drive.

3. This Rotation

Wilson, Garza, Darvish, Feliz, Harrison, Holland.

Pick your Favorite Five.

4. Portal 2

Because I am both intelligent and intrigued by puzzles.

5. The Nikon 50mm f/1.8D Nikkor Lens

Ready for your close-up?

That’s all I have for right now.


Conflict of Interest

Funniest Graph Ever

Fantasy Football requires large amounts of educated guesses, which I am great at. So, because of their matchup with the Chiefs this weekend, I attempted to claim the San Diego Chargers Defense/Special Teams on waivers this week. When I dug a bit further, I found this:

Hilarious. I literally busted out laughing at my screen. Just a funny graph. The simplicity just smacks you in the face.

And by the way, I didn’t win the waiver claim. Justin Golson was ahead of me in the waiver order because his record isn’t as good as mine, and now he’s the proud owner of the Chargers D/ST.

Fantasy Football: Week 1 Newsletter!

Week One is complete!

After an offseason plagued by lockouts, injuries, deaths, and bad-smelling farts, the 2011 NFL season is finally underway! And, it was quite an interesting first week. Despite the new kickoff rules, widely figured to cause more touchbacks, there were multiple kickoffs returned for TD’s. Tom Brady threw for 517 yards in week one, only one of three occasions in history when a QB has thrown for 500 yards and 4 TD’s. And, speaking of history, Sebastian Janikowski tied his own NFL record with a 63-yard FG on Monday Night Football. Pretty Epic.

Also epic: our Fantasy Football league’s first week. There were some ups, some downs, some surprises, and of course, some total let-downs. Let’s examine the matchups:

For the full Newsletter, click HERE!

9/11 Swag

Several NFL players, including Titans QB Matt Hasselbeck and Chiefs RB Jamaal Charles, plan on commemorating the Tenth Anniversary of the 9/11 Attacks in their own unique way: by jamming some badass Red, White, and Blue gear custom made by Reebok for this weekend.

The NFL will probably fine them for their unapproved uniform changes (which is bullsh), but the players don’t care, and are ready to write checks. I don’t blame them either, because this stuff is pretty epic:

Another shot:

Reebok, the NFL’s official uniform provider (until next year, when Nike takes over), designed and produced the shoes, then sent them out to several players, without the NFL’s permission. Bears linebacker Lance Briggs said on his Twitter, “Reebok great job on these gloves and shoes..looks like I’m getting fined this week. Lol! By far the best fine I will ever have to pay. Thanks…”

Don’t blame you Briggs…those are pretty great, and I think this is probably a time when the NFL should back off from the fines. 9/11 is a pretty big deal, and if the players want to commemorate it in their own way, let ’em. There’s gonna be a lot of flag-waving that day, so why not let the players contribute? What’s more American than having your voice heard and doing some flag waving?

Fantasy Football Preview 2011!!!


Another year, another Fantasy Football league. Last year’s league, the 2010 Fantasy Football World Cup, is now viewed by many as a debacle. With Kickoff Return Points, 12 teams, expanded rosters, and the near-reality of having a slot for Head Coaches and Defensive Players, the league nearly floundered before it even started. Justin Golson threatened to leave the league, and held out for several days, like some big-headed, white-skinned version of Chris Johnson, and the league struggled with selection of franchises like never before. Reid Golson and his “Canadian Clit Commanders” were an average team on the field, but their name made fans and owners alike gag for weeks. Clayton Coots, although having a cool team name (The New Mombasa Lightning Cats), were a horrid team on the field. Team rosters were odd, with players like Deji Kareem and LaRod Stephens-Howling reserving rosters spots because of their kickoff return ability, and it was a constant struggle to keep up with the constant churning of the Free Agency Pool. But, despite all this, a Fantasy Super Bowl Champion was indeed crowned. Brandon Coots, and his historic franchise, The Tokyo Future, finally claimed their first league title. On the backs of Aaron Rogers, Arian Foster, and Miles Austin, the Future indeed became inevitable.
But, 2010 has passed.
It is now 2011, and a new crop of challengers awaits the chance to harness Fantasy Glory. From the Space State of Lusaka, Marty McBurney’s Centroids are looking to upset the balance of power in the league, while old favorites like the Gridiron Warriors, Locksley Robins, and Mississippi Mudcats look to build upon their already significant dynasties. David Bauerkemper once again returns to the league with a topical name, this time alluding to his impending wedding; yes, the Hitched Home-Starters are looking to put other teams on lockdown this season. Dylan Mahanay typically masks his years of futility with a new name every year, and 2010 is no different; this time he calls his squad McRae’s Dragoon, a clever reference to the greatest Western ever produced. Hopefully you do not suffer the same fate as your namesake. After having relocated from the now-desolate Thomaskirke, the newly-christened Leipzig Running Bachs are looking to take the league by musical storm. The Adelaide Dingoes also return, somehow defying the fact that their GM and Owner has no internet connection. Brandt Self, a familiar face in the league, has also bought a new team this year, but other, apparently more important obligations have kept him from giving his franchise a name as of this writing. Perhaps the Lewisville Procrastinators? Maybe the B&B Off-Roads? Or, to be topical, the Texas Wildfires? No matter what name is decided upon, there will certainly be one obstacle in the path to Glory. The World Champion Tokyo Future, franchise of unparalleled glory and success, currently holds the belt, and is looking to repeat for the first time in League History. But, not even the Future is untouchable; last year’s imperfections call have called into question the Future’s successes, and many wonder if the Future would have won at all, had there been no Kickoff Return Points. Although some claim their legacy is tainted, the Future maintain their position that, “The Future is, in fact, Inevitable.”
No matter the outcome of the League, a few things are certain: Fantasy Football is easier than Fantasy Baseball. Fact. And also, the rigors of last season have left this year’s league diminished: there are now only 10 teams, and to avoid controversy, scoring is now FULLY ESPN Standard. No craziness here. And one final thing is true: The winner of this year’s league will become an unquestioned hero in the annals of league history, because no other year has been as pure, with such a devoted base of GM’s and Owners, and so straightforward a set of rules. 2011 will truly be the Year of the Champion.
That being said, it would be appropriate to examine the chances of each team, and analyze their chances. We’ll start with the defending champs:

For the Full article and Team Previews, click Here!!!

It’s True

To be honest, I DO hit the treadmill from time to time, but I prefer the Elliptical. Doesn’t hurt my knees as much. But more than the Elliptical, I prefer the Oreo Blizzard. To put it in mathematical terms:

Oreo Blizzard > Elliptical > Treadmill > Running Outside

I do enjoy I nice walk though.