Ok, so i lied…i’m not recapping the Grammys. I couldn’t give two shits about the Grammys because they’re a TOTAL joke.
NEIL FUCKING YOUNG WON A GRAMMY FOR “BEST ROCK SONG?” Yeah…ok.
Yeah, Grammy Committee, i’ll TOTALLY tune in next year. The Grammys are just the Music & Television industries banging each other and seeing if they can squeeze a few pennies out. They get a few wacky combos to perform on stage, nominate the new Tom Petty song nobody has ever heard of, and “honor” musicians from decades ago so they keep older viewers interested. It’s a just a circus. Way to really push the art forward, Grammy committee.
So, instead of recapping the Awards, I’m gonna fuel the circus and recap the Red Carpet Fashion! Or, should I say Red Carpet Costumes?
Ok. Ricky. We get it. You’re gay. You don’t have to keep bashing us over the head with it. Nice cock, by the way.
The stunningly awkward DJ David Guetta has been watching too much Zoolander, and was inspired by Mugatu’s Derelicte line for this year’s award show. Nice one, Guetta. Way to shed your creepy vibe.
Johnny Depp has recently signed on to play John Mayer in the upcoming biopic My Body Is A Wonderland. Seems like a perfect casting choice, and as usual, Depp has lost himself in the role and completely disappeared into the character.
And then there’s this guy, who…um…I don’t even know what to say. He looks like…like…a fucking drugged-out hobbit. Like he’ll be playing a coke-addled Bombur in the upcoming Hobbit adaptation that starts shooting next month.
And of course, Gaga…in an egg. Because we needed more evidence that she was born of reptiles.
So there you have it! The 2011 Grammys! Can’t wait for next year!