She’s Out Of My League

I’m not one who’s big into hero worship. Buuuutttttttt….

While doing a bit of research for today’s Song of the Day, I got to reading Natalie Portman’s bio on Wikipedia, and…Jesus Christ. This woman is ENTIRELY out of every. single. person’s. league. First of all, let’s establish that she’s gorgeous.

Got it? Ok. Moving on…

Natalie Portman’s most recently released film, No Strings Attached, is a funny-but-crude romantic comedy that is fun to watch, but ultimately forgettable. In the movie, Portman screams, cusses, and gets donut powder all over her face. This movie and its qualities are in stark contrast to her last movie, Black Swan, for which she’s about to earn an Academy Award for Best Actress for. Weird, to see her at both ends of the spectrum. She’s obviously very humble and versatile. But wait…there’s more.

Did you know she doesn’t mind being nude on camera? Yeah, that’s right. As a supplement and prologue to his 2007 film The Darjeeling Limited (great movie), Director Wes Anderson wrote and shot a short film called Hotel Chevalier. It stars Jason Schwartzman and Natalie Portman, who play their characters from The Darjeeling Limited. I saw this short film in front of the theatrical cut of the movie at a press screening at the Dallas Angelika, and imagine my surprise when, in a very steamy scene, Ms. Portman dropped trou and showed her bottom for the camera.

So clearly, she’s not afraid to “take it to the limit” for a role. Further proof? She shaved her head for V for Vendetta (also great).

Also, did you know she’s a rapper?

Jesus! How versatile and badass is this lady?

Well, as the video suggests, she does have a psychology degree from HARVARD. EVER HEARD OF IT? Yeah, on top of being beautiful and talented, she’s also a retard-genius. While in High School, she co-authored a paper entitled “A Simple Method To Demonstrate the Enzymatic Production of Hydrogen from Sugar.” Whoa. And the paper was a semifinalist in the competition it was entered in. While studying at Harvard, she co-authored a paper called, “Frontal Lobe Activation During Object Permanence.” Sound brutal. She’s also studies French, Japanese, German, Arabic, and speaks Hebrew fluently. Why? Because she was born in Jerusalem, and has dual-citizenship in both the United States and Israel. She’s been a guest speaker at Columbia, and took Graduate courses at the University of Jerusalem.

Also, she made her big-screen debut at age 13 in the excellent film Léon, or The Professional, as it’s called here in the ‘States. It’s, predictably, great. I’ll let you borrow it because i bought it like 5 years ago.

Also, she was Luke Skywalker’s mother.

Did I mention she’s about to win an Academy Award?

Anyway, the point is, i could go on and on about Natalie Portman, but truthfully, i don’t need to anymore. I just wanted everyone to be aware of how incredibly Super Human she is. It’s ridiculous. She is beautiful, talented, and most importantly, fearless, and she’s now well on her way to being the most prolific, well-rounded, and best actress of our generation.

So there.

Also, apparently she’s not out of EVERYONE’s league, because she’s preggers, and marrying her choreographer from Black Swan, who is…um…not gay?

Check out Natalie in two more movies this year, including Thor (yep…awesome), and pot-smoking-medieval knights flick Your Highness, in which Natalie shows off her ass in a thong, just to tease us.

So…recap: Soon-to-be Academy Award Winner. Millionaire. Harvard Degree. Ass-Show-er. Gotta love her.

If you want more, i suggest you use Google, or click Here.


2 responses

  1. macros

    She is out of my league too 🙂
    But LEON was ultimately delicious !

    April 10, 2011 at 12:55 pm

  2. Rider i

    Rider I
    She is not out of my league cro.

    It all depends on your feeling and your ability to play her game. Ladies have their own thing they look for. They have a specific code. If you fulfill that code if you can find it and then play with it nicely. Then she is yours.

    September 24, 2011 at 7:31 pm

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