New Bit: Best Thoughts of the Day – 2/1/2011

My three best thoughts today. They’re better out-of-context.

“It’s so cold out here, your semen will freeze before it hits the ground.”

“I can’t decide if the void keeps getting bigger, or if the shit i’m throwing in it to fill it up is getting smaller.”

“As you go through life, you meet a TON of people, but only a few you take with you for the rest of your life…sometimes i think about who i might know 3 years from right now, and who will just be the friends who were ‘around for a few months, maybe a year, and disappeared.’ You gotta horde those people you have a connection with. They’re far-and-few in between, and we’re only getting older.

“(Blank) will become that person that you see in WalMart, and you have that moment of recognition and your eyes get wide, and you’ll talk for a sec, catch up…and then keep pushing your buggy on to the cookie aisle. And you’ll think, “Man…haven’t seen HER in a while…”

“(Blank) will be around for the rest of my life…no homo…and so if i can get you two guys attached at the hip, it’ll ultimately cost me less gas money when i have to go visit my friends.”

Try to guess which one was never uttered to another human being.


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