NASCAR Kings Secret Revealed

(Associated Press)

On Sunday, November 21, Jimmie “Johnny” Johnson won his 5th straight NASCAR championship. Such a feat is unprecedented, and Johnson was incredibly excited about his phenomenal accomplishment.

“I’m incredibly excited,” said Johnson.

When asked about his secret to winning so many racing championships, Johnson reluctantly revealed his secret.

“I just turn left.”

This graphic, provided by Johnson’s Crew Chief, demonstrates Johnson’s unique strategy.

“I just…turn left, and try to not crash. It seems like other guys have a pretty hard time with those things, so…i just do that, and i win. It’s…it’s pretty wild.”

With the NASCAR season now over, Johnson outlined his offseason plans. “I’m going to stay in shape by getting in my Subaru and driving around the block. I’ll do mostly left turns, but i might turn right sometimes, like if i need to go to Kroger or the Dairy Queen, but i don’t know. I just don’t know.”

A true champion, indeed.

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